Friday, October 30, 2009

Read With Her

Recently, my wife and I began reading books together. This has proved to be very enjoyable for the two of us. We like the quiet that it offers and we just get to listen to one another. We will often take turns reading so our throats don't start hurting. Instead of wasting away in a movie theater spending two hours sitting next to each other and not really interacting we, for the same price, can buy a book and spend well over two hours reading and learning about each other. Right now we are reading "The 5 Love Languages" by Dr. Gary Chapman, and it is a real joy for us.

More: Make sure that you choose a book that can help you two out. There doesn't need to be a problem in your relationship to read a book about strengthening marriages and relationships. This is often the problem in failed marriages, people waited for a big problem before they tried to work on their relationship.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Mail Her A Letter

With today's technology, it is easier than ever to send mass communications quickly and efficiently. Unfortunately, with this, romance has suffered. When was the last time that you wrote a letter to the one you love? If ever, I would venture to say it has been quite some time! Set some time aside, sit down, and write a loving and endearing letter to the one you love. Be sure to write as nicely as you can and use a pen. Make sure that you date the letter so that it can be looked back on in the future.

More Tips: Spray the letter with the cologne you wear. You can also add various little things in it like dried, pressed flowers, pictures, or anything else that might be meaningful to her. To really give the letter a nice presentation you can go to a local arts and crafts store, and in the wedding aisle you should be able to find a wax letter sealer and some wax. Get the stamp that has your last initial on it and a nice color, possibly her favorite color, wax to seal the letter with. This will make the letter much more memorable.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Quit Defending

Most men, including myself, were brought up to defend ourselves. It is so ingrained in us to defend ourselves to our dying breath, and this is a flaw that we have. There are times where men will listen to their wives and if we try to be as objective as possible we can literally point things out like "Yep, right here I would be defending myself. Right here, I would've interrupted and defended myself." It is good that we can step out and see this, but that does not solve the problem.

The problem with defending ourselves is we tend to over compensate. We not only defend ourselves but we also may say things that are hurtful in the heat of the moment. It is important that we take a step back and look at the situation. What happened to make the situation transpire, and what is she saying that makes us feel the need to defend ourselves?

If you take a step back and listen to what is being said, it may not require a defense. There have been times where I was defending myself against helpful suggestions, because I was taking a suggestion as an attack on my character rather than looking at it objectively and trying to realize my wife's true intent. No one wins in an argument between a husband and wife, so quit defending yourself and listen. Discuss and make compromises, because the hurtful things that you may say in your defense will only make things worse.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Thank Her

My wife does lots of things around the house, and lots of things for me. I do my best to thank her for everything. There are times that I forget, but I feel that I am pretty good about it. This is important because it shows that you are paying attention and appreciative. I know that the way my wife tries to show her appreciation for me is mostly through actions, and it is this reason that it is so important that I recognize what she is doing.

When she heats a frozen pizza, I thank her for it. She even will sometimes say things like "I didn't do anything" or "All I did was heat something up." It doesn't matter to me though, I thank her for it. I want her to know that she is appreciated no matter what she does. One way to think of it is that if she did not do it, then I would have. By that reasoning, not only did she make food for me, but she saved me the trouble of having to do it myself.

People express their affection in different ways. Some people do it by words, and other people do it by actions but no matter what they do, it should be acknowledged appropriately.

More Tips: Make sure that it is genuine. Really make her feel like you are taking some time away from what you are doing to thank her. You can either get up, give her a hug and thank her while hugging, or giver her a sentimental kiss. Either way, it will be far more special for her if you can take your eyes off of the paper work, the television, or the computer for a minute to acknowledge that you truly appreciate what she is doing.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Take Care of Yourself

Take a look in the mirror and be honest with yourself. Are you proud of what you see? Maybe you need to lose weight, maybe you need to put on deodorant, maybe you need to shave, maybe you need a haircut, maybe you need to put on some cologne, or maybe you need to just do your hair. This is not meant to be offensive or vein sounding, but there is always something that someone can do to improve their appearance, or presence.

We are not suggesting that you get self-conscious, but it is quite common in a marriage to stop doing certain things that someone used to do. Often this is referred to as "letting yourself go." It is terribly important that you do not fall victim to this. If you do, no big deal, the great thing about this is it can be fixed. Doing some of these little things shows that you care, and you want to impress the one you love.

You could be in the absolute best shape, but if you wreak of body odor then you will turn her off. It's amazing what some small changes can really accomplish. If you have a great body, and you smell amazing, then all bets are off.

More Tips: If you are a little over weight, don't worry about it. Working weight off is a slow committed process. Start working on the weight, but take into consideration some of the other ideas. Do your hair, put on a nice cologne, and dress in an outfit you know she'll find irresistible. Don't concentrate solely on the weight because that will not be an overnight fix.

Work on the weight honestly by eating right and exercising. For some immediate and impressive changes try changing your outfit, doing your hair, and putting on cologne. Don't believe the "get skinny quick" scams, the only way to lose honest weight is by working out and eating right.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

What's Her Favorite Flower?

Many men think they know everything there is to know about their wife. But how much do you really know? Do you know what her favorite flower is? Maybe you do, or maybe you are one of those guys that assumes her favorite flower is a red rose like every other woman. The truth is, most women appreciate the red rose for its symbolism, but few call it their favorite. Today, try and find out what your wife's favorite flower is. This will leave you knowing one more thing about your wife, and give you one more thing that you can surprise her with. The best part is, she will know that you are listening.

More Tips: Try and be inconspicuous when you are trying to find out what her favorite flower is, this will help to make it more special once you do surprise her with one.

Related Articles: Bring Her Flowers

Monday, June 15, 2009

Share in hobbies

One of the largest divisions between a couple is the time they spend doing their hobbies. While the husband is out fishing, the wife is at home scrap booking. While this isn't necessarily a bad thing in moderation, it isn't healthy in the typical amounts we see everyday. If the two of you can share in a hobby together, that will be quality time for the both of you that will help you in growing together. You can try a new hobby like dancing, or one of you can try to enjoy helping the other in the hobby they enjoy. You could sit down and help her scrapbook, or she can come with you fishing. This will help the two of you to grow together.

More Tips: If you decide to join her in her hobby, make a genuine attempt at enjoying it too. If she feels like you are bored out of your mind it will not only ruin that time for her, but it will make her not want you around when she's using that time. Remember, people engage in hobbies as a fun pass time, so make sure you keep it fun!

Monday, June 8, 2009

Let Her Decide

A common problem in dating and marriages is one person tends to call the shots. If this is the case then let her choose the kind of food you both will eat today, or let her choose the movie that you will see. Often times a partner will sacrifice their own wants or needs to demonstrate their love for the other person, but this sacrifice then turns into the routine and is not acknowledged as it should be. This can lead to a lot of pent up frustration. Sometimes she may just want to enjoy watching "Benny and Joon" rather than "Fast and the Furious 26" and this is where there should be an equilibrium.

More Tips: There doesn't have to be a power struggle in the relationship. If you have to, agree to alternating who chooses what each week. But you must adhere to this, even if your all time favorite movie is screening this weekend you need to be willing to skip it to honor your agreement.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Hold Hands

Many couples let simple things like holding hands just float off into the recesses of grade school history, but the simple act of holding hands can really make an ordinary moment just a little bit more special. I see many married couples walking around nonchalantly as though they were just friends. This is generally fine and acceptable, but I think that grabbing her hand, especially if you do not do it often, is a great way to just further enjoy the ordinary walk through the mall or park.

More Tips: When sitting together you can hold hands or just bring her closer to you to cuddle. It's just a nice way to physically express your love and appreciation for her.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Don't Forget Things!

We have seen it a million times in sitcoms, commercials, and movies. The wife is doing something that could be construed as special, like making a nice dinner and immediately the guy needs to run down a quick checklist of important holidays and events. This doesn't need to happen! Get your cell phone out right now and start setting reminders (which you can make occur annually) and program it with these important dates. It's easy, it might take you an hour, but the hour is well worth never missing another important holiday, or event.

Some women think this is cheating, and it should be important enough to remember. While that is a kind thought, the fact is that life is happening constantly, and there is no crime in getting a reminder. And if you're anything like me, your wife will understand that you have the worst memory on Earth, second only to me.

Friday, May 29, 2009

Use Your Hands

The next time you're in the card aisle, you might be better off going to the nearest arts and crafts store. While it may not be manly to you, it would be quite meaningful to your wife that you made her the card that you're giving her. The best thing about this idea is you get to truly customize the card for her. Few cards will ever fit her perfectly off of the shelf, and no matter how much she likes a card picked off of the shelf at a store, she would prefer a card you made. Yes, it will probably be more expensive then buying a card, because arts and crafts stores are pricey, and yes it will be time consuming, but this is part of what makes it so special.

Get some nice heavy card stock, then go into the scrapbooking aisle and find those puffy stickers, and foam cutouts and whatever else you think she might like and adhere them to the card. Yes, this is journeying into territory that you probably don't often visit, but it will be very special to her.

More Tips: If you are unsure of what to do, or how to make a nice looking card, find an employee at the store and they will probably be a huge wealth of knowledge. They can also make the experience a lot more comfortable for you. I've been to many arts and crafts stores and the employess are generally nice, and they enjoy arts and crafts.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Bring her a flower

Women love the occasional flower. Do not do the whole bouquet, save that for a special occasion. If you give her a bouquet of flowers all the time, then it will start to lose its meaning and affect. But a single flower says that you were thinking about her. This is a really great thing to do when you know she's been having a rough day. If you hear her listing off all of the things she's had to deal with that day, then bring her home a flower so that at least for that moment, she isn't thinking about everything she has to do, but is thinking that someone else is thinking about her as well.

For those kinds of occasions I would suggest a more romantic flower like a rose. You can also dress it up a little more by purchasing some nice material like a thick lace, or some other material that compliments the flower color and tying a nice bow around the flower, or if you're not the bow tying type you can purchase one of those really thin vases designed for a single flower.

More Tips: On a particularly rough day where everything has been miserable I suggest that you also get a card to go along with the flower, or you can hand write a note or poem. If she's the one who usually cooks you can also try and bring home dinner (or cook her dinner, which she would probably appreciate more, unless you're terrible.) to at least spare her that extra chore. This will relieve the pressure of her cooking, and if that is the last chore on her list, you just helped to bring her day to a well deserved end.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Talk to her

The problem that many women have in their relationship is a lack of communication. Set aside some you and her talk time. Find out how work has been, ask about things she wants to do. Has she seen anything new that was interesting to her? Make sure that you're aay from any distractions like phones, tvs, and computers. Go on a walk, or go to a park. A nice setting really helps especially if there is a quiet moment where neither of you has anything to say. Talking really helps to open up the relationship because people are always at different points in their lives and it's important to know where your loved one is at. Right now my wife knows that I'm on a fishing and woodworking kick. She know's that because we talk.

More Tips: Parks are a wonderful place to talk, they are free, and you can even setup a nice picinic which will make things more enjoyable.

Monday, May 25, 2009

Open Doors

Chivalry is dead, but resurrect it!
A very popular quote that I hear from women is "Chivalry is dead." I have to admit that I can see how that idea could be arrived at. With this thought process, women have naturally lowered their expectations to the current status quo. Don't get me wrong, nearly all men have opened doors for their girlfriend or wife, but at some point they stopped. How easy is it to start again? If you no longer open doors for the one you love then start! They'll be surprised at first, but it's just another easy change you can make to make your special loved one feel like just that; a special loved one.

More Tips: Don't forget the car door, it may seem inefficient to run around to her side of the car when you've got keyless locks, but the additional effort will most likely be recognized and appreciated. My wife usually tells me not to do it but I usually do still just because.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Breakfast is served

Serve her breakfast:
Surprise your special lady with breakfast. It's always best to cook it yourself, but if you're not the cooking type, or you and your wife both know that you can't cook well at all; it might be better that you leave the cooking to someone else. Take her out to a nice little diner for breakfast or pick up something simple like doughnuts, or even see if a restaurant near you does breakfast take out. It's a nice way to get her day going.

More Tips:
If you're afraid of the stove you can also pick up fruit and cut them up into a fruit salad. Adding her favorite flavor of yogurt as the "dressing" will make it just that much more enjoyable!

Friday, May 22, 2009

Surprise Call

Give Her a call:
Give her a phone call when you don't ordinarily, like on a lunch break, and let her know that you're thinking about her and love her. This is especially meaningful if you don't have the finest telephone track record.

More Tips: It might seem cheesy to you, but you could write her a poem and read it to her as well. If you're not the poem writing type, there are plenty of poems out there that might be able to express how you feel.


Little Love Notes

Little Notes:
Try leaving your wife a nice little note today. Let her know you love her, that you appreciate her, or that you're thinking of her. This is a sure way to make her feel slightly more special, and loved.

You can leave it on the fridge, in her car, in her lunch, on the bed, or any other place that you know she'll see it.

More Tips: To really add to it, attach the note to a single red rose.