Read With Her

Recently, my wife and I began reading books together. This has proved to be very enjoyable for the two of us. We like the quiet that it offers and we just get to listen to one another. We will often take turns reading so our throats don't start hurting. Instead of wasting away in a movie theater spending two hours sitting next to each other and not really interacting we, for the same price, can buy a book and spend well over two hours reading and learning about each other. Right now we are reading "The 5 Love Languages" by Dr. Gary Chapman, and it is a real joy for us.

More: Make sure that you choose a book that can help you two out. There doesn't need to be a problem in your relationship to read a book about strengthening marriages and relationships. This is often the problem in failed marriages, people waited for a big problem before they tried to work on their relationship.

Quit Defending

Most men, including myself, were brought up to defend ourselves. It is so ingrained in us to defend ourselves to our dying breath, and this is a flaw that we have. There are times where men will listen to their wives and if we try to be as objective as possible we can literally point things out like "Yep, right here I would be defending myself. Right here, I would've interrupted and defended myself." It is good that we can step out and see this, but that does not solve the problem.

The problem with defending ourselves is we tend to over compensate. We not only defend ourselves but we also may say things that are hurtful in the heat of the moment. It is important that we take a step back and look at the situation. What happened to make the situation transpire, and what is she saying that makes us feel the need to defend ourselves?

If you take a step back and listen to what is being said, it may not require a defense. There have been times where I was defending myself against helpful suggestions, because I was taking a suggestion as an attack on my character rather than looking at it objectively and trying to realize my wife's true intent. No one wins in an argument between a husband and wife, so quit defending yourself and listen. Discuss and make compromises, because the hurtful things that you may say in your defense will only make things worse.

Thank Her

My wife does lots of things around the house, and lots of things for me. I do my best to thank her for everything. There are times that I forget, but I feel that I am pretty good about it. This is important because it shows that you are paying attention and appreciative. I know that the way my wife tries to show her appreciation for me is mostly through actions, and it is this reason that it is so important that I recognize what she is doing.

When she heats a frozen pizza, I thank her for it. She even will sometimes say things like "I didn't do anything" or "All I did was heat something up." It doesn't matter to me though, I thank her for it. I want her to know that she is appreciated no matter what she does. One way to think of it is that if she did not do it, then I would have. By that reasoning, not only did she make food for me, but she saved me the trouble of having to do it myself.

People express their affection in different ways. Some people do it by words, and other people do it by actions but no matter what they do, it should be acknowledged appropriately.

More Tips: Make sure that it is genuine. Really make her feel like you are taking some time away from what you are doing to thank her. You can either get up, give her a hug and thank her while hugging, or giver her a sentimental kiss. Either way, it will be far more special for her if you can take your eyes off of the paper work, the television, or the computer for a minute to acknowledge that you truly appreciate what she is doing.

Talk to her

The problem that many women have in their relationship is a lack of communication. Set aside some you and her talk time. Find out how work has been, ask about things she wants to do. Has she seen anything new that was interesting to her? Make sure that you're aay from any distractions like phones, tvs, and computers. Go on a walk, or go to a park. A nice setting really helps especially if there is a quiet moment where neither of you has anything to say. Talking really helps to open up the relationship because people are always at different points in their lives and it's important to know where your loved one is at. Right now my wife knows that I'm on a fishing and woodworking kick. She know's that because we talk.

More Tips: Parks are a wonderful place to talk, they are free, and you can even setup a nice picinic which will make things more enjoyable.

Surprise Call

Give Her a call:
Give her a phone call when you don't ordinarily, like on a lunch break, and let her know that you're thinking about her and love her. This is especially meaningful if you don't have the finest telephone track record.

More Tips: It might seem cheesy to you, but you could write her a poem and read it to her as well. If you're not the poem writing type, there are plenty of poems out there that might be able to express how you feel.

Links:

How to write a poem